One of the tremendous blessings of going through the adoptive process is that we are beginning to see how insensitive we are to other people. Not because we’re intentionally mean or vindictive or anything; if you know us at all, you know we’re easy going, fairly low maintenance, dare I even say it – “boring” people. We’re not the type to stir the pot, we try to keep a low profile, and we do our best to avoid situations that might get us in trouble. We’re just like most other people.
But we still think about ourselves A LOT.
This is even evident to me in what was a paradoxically wonderful and terrifying, amazing yet disengaging, incredibly surreal moment yesterday: experiencing an ultrasound of our unborn child, a child not of our flesh, and technically, a child who may end up not being ours at all.
And thus, you see, how we tend to make life all about us.
Here I was, in the room with four other women, one unborn woman-to-be, all staring at a monitor of this tiny 3 lb human being inside the belly of her mother, being at the same time overjoyed and awestruck, yet guarding my heart from permanent disappointment, knowing Liza may never know her as mother. Here I was, in the midst of it all, thinking about me.
But what about the mom giving up her child to us? How was she feeling? What about her family? Her loved ones? Was I tuning into them, or only worried about me?
God has given us an amazing opportunity to experience something that most people will not. Infertility, international adoption, and now domestic adoption. All carry with them their own unique difficulties and challenges, but how awesome is it that God has taken us down this path of unknown adventure? How blessed are we to be given this opportunity, a chance to walk in obedience to God’s calling when we have very little control of the outcome? And more than that, how freeing is it to learn that the universe doesn’t revolve around us, that other people have emotions and feelings too?
I’m not saying we have it down…certainly we do not. But after watching two moms gaze at the images of one unborn baby, I feel as though I got a little bit closer to understanding what it means to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
Yup, the world doesn’t revolve around me.